I got my official diagnosis from the hematologist yesterday. It is as he suspected --
CHRONIC LYMPHOCYTIC LEUKEMIA, STAGE 0
He called it Stage 0 because I am asymptomatic and there is nothing to treat. He did order one more blood test and a baseline CT scan, but I don't have to come back for three months.
This disease is one that is just observed, which is good. It's just there, doing nothing.
Until there are symptoms, or until one of these tests comes up either positive or shows something, there is nothing to treat, so I shall continue to live my life as I have been. That's all I can do.
I am so very mixed up in my brain as to how to feel about this. I really don't want to have it, but to have it is better than to have anything else, except chronic fatigue.
I feel that it is an unnecessary burden to Ron that I have cancer. The cost - right now, minimal - of this down the road boggles my mind, and he has NO idea. He doesn't deal with finances. There will be so many problems, money-wise, way more than what we have now, and we are already in a pretty deep hole. I've got us in a good place - on a ledge, as it were - in this deep hole, but until I get my disability settled and coming in, it's not what it should be. There is a tiny light shining at the top, though, and we'll keep focused on it!
But.....there it is.
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