I had to drive down to WalMart this morning. Now, this, in and of itself, is not a big deal. But I got stuck behind someone who had their blinker on. And never turned. Ever. Evidently, they had switched lanes somewhere and not turned it off. We usually look at each other and say, "Looks like they are turning left (or right, whichever) around the world." And the other person just chuckles and agrees, and the conversation goes back to whatever it was. But, oh, how this bugs the living crap out of me! My blinkers in my last three cars blinked so loud that there was no doubt that they were blinking.
The blinkers are there as a warning system, or symbol, and to leave it on, or to turn it on blocks early, is not a "warning." By the time you get to where you are turning, the people behind you have given up on you turning! I say - if it blinks more than 10 - 15 times, that's too much!!
I try not to turn my blinker on until where my turn is, is the next turn. I don't turn my blinker on and then pass 2 roads and 6 driveways before I turn into my driveway, I turn on the blinker as I pass the driveway 2 doors down (coming from town), or Hoover Road (coming from Felicity). Plenty of warning for vehicles behind me, seeing that I am also slowing down!
We live in a small town with regular blocks. As you come into town, people who are turning at 133/Main Street light turn on their blinkers BEFORE they pass the intersection before this intersection. Yes, driving two whole blocks before they get to where they are turning! Like this: <<blinker on>> Then pass an auto parts store, an antique store/A/C dude combo, an old hotel (no drive - it's on the side street), an intersection, a funeral home driveway, the funeral home parking lot, the parking lot for the dime store, THEN the 133/Main Street intersection where they are turning, and their blinkers have been on this whole time! The first block mentioned is also only one lane, yet everyone pulls to the right, because as you get the main section of town, it splits into two lanes and no one can seem to wait that long. Me? I hang in the center until I have to choose which lane I need and make people mad! LOL They either go around me, going over the double yellow into oncoming traffic, or just wait. Makes my day. It's only one lane, people!! And turn your freaking blinker off!!
Monday, August 26, 2013
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Public restroom TP dispensers....
I am convinced that MAN designed public restrooms, especially women's, and then designed the toilet paper dispensers to place in them, as well as where to place them.
First of all, they are in the most inconvenient of places. They are either up so high only a person at least 7 foot tall, with appropriate length arms is able to reach the roll, or down so low that a person must do contortions to reach the roll. Then, also, they are so big and bulky (the bigger the better!), and so close to the toilet that a woman can't do the things she needs to do without coming away with bumps, scrapes, and bruises, especially certain times of a month.
Now, some of this is the business's fault - they are the ones who choose what to put in there, but, c'mon. Why, even in a huge store like WalMart or Kroger, do you need a roll of toilet paper as big around as a tractor tire? I understand that you don't want people to steal single rolls of toilet paper, and I understand that you (a business) can't trust anyone any more, but is the cost of these tractor-tire toilet paper wheels really worth it? When a person using the toilet has to use three times the amount of toilet paper because the toilet paper is so thin and so ~~ugh, papery~~that to make it anyway near soft enough, we must pull and pull and pull (and it break and break and break) to make a "soft" enough pad to wipe with? The restrooms are NEVER clean, are NEVER well-stocked, even those with those handy-dandy little checklists on the backs of the doors. They might have the little checkmarks on them, but someone is lying. Checking should not be that bad of a job that no one wants to do it. Why can it not be up to a MANAGER to make sure it is done? The cleaning is a whole nother story, of course, but the checking...
Now, about the toilet paper hanging of the end of the roll...
Ladies, how many of you have gone into a public restroom and sat there and cussed because you can't find the end of the toilet paper? <Looking around for hands raised.>
Okay, we're all done with what we've came to do. How many just rip the toilet paper quickly at the roll when it needed, and how many tear it so there is a bit left hanging, and how many have checked to make sure there is a little bit of toilet paper hanging for the next person? Hmmmmmm?
First of all, they are in the most inconvenient of places. They are either up so high only a person at least 7 foot tall, with appropriate length arms is able to reach the roll, or down so low that a person must do contortions to reach the roll. Then, also, they are so big and bulky (the bigger the better!), and so close to the toilet that a woman can't do the things she needs to do without coming away with bumps, scrapes, and bruises, especially certain times of a month.
Now, some of this is the business's fault - they are the ones who choose what to put in there, but, c'mon. Why, even in a huge store like WalMart or Kroger, do you need a roll of toilet paper as big around as a tractor tire? I understand that you don't want people to steal single rolls of toilet paper, and I understand that you (a business) can't trust anyone any more, but is the cost of these tractor-tire toilet paper wheels really worth it? When a person using the toilet has to use three times the amount of toilet paper because the toilet paper is so thin and so ~~ugh, papery~~that to make it anyway near soft enough, we must pull and pull and pull (and it break and break and break) to make a "soft" enough pad to wipe with? The restrooms are NEVER clean, are NEVER well-stocked, even those with those handy-dandy little checklists on the backs of the doors. They might have the little checkmarks on them, but someone is lying. Checking should not be that bad of a job that no one wants to do it. Why can it not be up to a MANAGER to make sure it is done? The cleaning is a whole nother story, of course, but the checking...
Now, about the toilet paper hanging of the end of the roll...
Ladies, how many of you have gone into a public restroom and sat there and cussed because you can't find the end of the toilet paper? <Looking around for hands raised.>
Okay, we're all done with what we've came to do. How many just rip the toilet paper quickly at the roll when it needed, and how many tear it so there is a bit left hanging, and how many have checked to make sure there is a little bit of toilet paper hanging for the next person? Hmmmmmm?
Monday, July 15, 2013
'Bucket list' v 'How to Live list'
I recently came across a list of "30 things to do before you die" which, to me, was more of a list of ways you should be trying to live, rather than things you should be wanting to do before you (ha ha) kick the bucket.
EVERY SINGLE THING ON THIS LIST IS NOT SOMETHING YOU CAN PHYSICALLY DO, BUT SOME WAY TO LIVE, OR THINK, OR BELIEVE.
Things like forgive ex-lovers (which I have none of, by the way), love yourself unconditionally, be open to change, risk everything for love (don't we do that every day?), stop thinking you did something wrong (again, don't we do that every day?), follow your heart, give up attachments to 'stuff', recognize the journey as the reward, welcome all life lessons, and so on and so forth.
Now, I'm not saying that those are not things to strive for. I'm saying that I think that those are ways we should be living our lives anyway - not finding ways to do them before we die.
Take the ex-lover one. I have NO ex-lovers. I am married to my only lover. I have been married to him for 36 years. I know, that puts me in a unique situation. BUT - that means I can mark this off of this list, right?? Or does it mean I have to find a replacement for this one? Does there have to be 30 on a list of 30 things to do before you die if one of the questions/requirements is unqualified, if that's the right word? Or does this mean I have to find/think of something over the years that I can forgive him for? Whatever it is, I already have. So, the question is still unqualified.
Another one - "Leave the job you hate." Never had one.
Why would you continue in a job that you despise? Yes, I understand the job market and all that bullcrap. But if you feel that way about the job and the job you do in that job will show - why make you and all those around you miserable? Do what you can to make the job NOT a job you hate! A lot of it is in your attitude anyway (and, yes, I know, a lot of it is not...), and while you are there, make the best of it. But if you are that unhappy, change what you can while you can.
I have never had a job that I have "hated." I have had jobs that I didn't like very much, but a job is a job is a job and I needed a job. If I didn't like a job, I found a different one. There are plenty of fast food restaurants and grocery stores and gas stations around. It was mostly the people around me that I didn't like, not the job itself, also, so I tried to be a pleasant person, instead of someone no one else would want to work with. I don't work now, being older and having had both a stroke and a heart attack, but, some days, I miss going out and doing something every day. All in all, for me, this one is unqualified, too.
Another one. "Reject rejection." Um. What? Rejection, in some form or another is a part of life. How can you reject it? That's why the jails and prisons are full. You must ACCEPT it, and use it in your life - to make your life better. To make you a better person, if you will. Another unqualified.
I could go on and on in this vein, but I won't. I think you all get the general picture.
I see a "Bucket List" as things - physical things like buying a fancy-ass car or going to certain cities or even having heart-to-heart talks with people (with no one getting mad!) - you wish you could do before you ~ahem~ kick the bucket, while others see a list such as this one as what a bucket list should be. My older sister is one of those kind of people - she loves this list, and thinks this is what a bucket list should be. My youngest sister, on the other hand, thinks any kind of a bucket list is ludicrous - just live.
OK, so of this list of 30, I already have 2 marked off!! Whoo-hoo!!
Going on through this list, I have considered that I have "done" 6 more of these listed. Yay, me.
I also strive to keep and do 12 more of these day-to-day. Like I said, these are more "way to live" than "things to do" things.
I feel that at least 3 of these are impossible, at least for me.
I guess I am happy with this Bucket List.
EVERY SINGLE THING ON THIS LIST IS NOT SOMETHING YOU CAN PHYSICALLY DO, BUT SOME WAY TO LIVE, OR THINK, OR BELIEVE.
Things like forgive ex-lovers (which I have none of, by the way), love yourself unconditionally, be open to change, risk everything for love (don't we do that every day?), stop thinking you did something wrong (again, don't we do that every day?), follow your heart, give up attachments to 'stuff', recognize the journey as the reward, welcome all life lessons, and so on and so forth.
Now, I'm not saying that those are not things to strive for. I'm saying that I think that those are ways we should be living our lives anyway - not finding ways to do them before we die.
Take the ex-lover one. I have NO ex-lovers. I am married to my only lover. I have been married to him for 36 years. I know, that puts me in a unique situation. BUT - that means I can mark this off of this list, right?? Or does it mean I have to find a replacement for this one? Does there have to be 30 on a list of 30 things to do before you die if one of the questions/requirements is unqualified, if that's the right word? Or does this mean I have to find/think of something over the years that I can forgive him for? Whatever it is, I already have. So, the question is still unqualified.
Another one - "Leave the job you hate." Never had one.
Why would you continue in a job that you despise? Yes, I understand the job market and all that bullcrap. But if you feel that way about the job and the job you do in that job will show - why make you and all those around you miserable? Do what you can to make the job NOT a job you hate! A lot of it is in your attitude anyway (and, yes, I know, a lot of it is not...), and while you are there, make the best of it. But if you are that unhappy, change what you can while you can.
I have never had a job that I have "hated." I have had jobs that I didn't like very much, but a job is a job is a job and I needed a job. If I didn't like a job, I found a different one. There are plenty of fast food restaurants and grocery stores and gas stations around. It was mostly the people around me that I didn't like, not the job itself, also, so I tried to be a pleasant person, instead of someone no one else would want to work with. I don't work now, being older and having had both a stroke and a heart attack, but, some days, I miss going out and doing something every day. All in all, for me, this one is unqualified, too.
Another one. "Reject rejection." Um. What? Rejection, in some form or another is a part of life. How can you reject it? That's why the jails and prisons are full. You must ACCEPT it, and use it in your life - to make your life better. To make you a better person, if you will. Another unqualified.
I could go on and on in this vein, but I won't. I think you all get the general picture.
I see a "Bucket List" as things - physical things like buying a fancy-ass car or going to certain cities or even having heart-to-heart talks with people (with no one getting mad!) - you wish you could do before you ~ahem~ kick the bucket, while others see a list such as this one as what a bucket list should be. My older sister is one of those kind of people - she loves this list, and thinks this is what a bucket list should be. My youngest sister, on the other hand, thinks any kind of a bucket list is ludicrous - just live.
OK, so of this list of 30, I already have 2 marked off!! Whoo-hoo!!
Going on through this list, I have considered that I have "done" 6 more of these listed. Yay, me.
I also strive to keep and do 12 more of these day-to-day. Like I said, these are more "way to live" than "things to do" things.
I feel that at least 3 of these are impossible, at least for me.
I guess I am happy with this Bucket List.
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Vacations are wonderful
Vacations are wonderful.
Absolutely wonderful. Both mentally and physically. A peace fills your soul, your mind, your body, even though you really don't do anything that very different than the things you do every single day.
True, you may do them in a different place, in a different state, but they are still the same things. But you are vacation and that makes all the difference in the world
We just went to Gatlinburg/Pigeon Forge in the Smoky Mountains in Tennessee for our vacation this year. We planned on renting a cabin instead of doing the hotel bit right in town, and asked all friends and family members starting way back in FEBRUARY if they would be interested. The more adults we got in on the trip, the cheaper the weeks' lodging would be was our argument, plus we would pay now, and could 'save' more for spending on vacation after the lodging, gasoline, and groceries were paid for. We gave a deadline of March 21 (my hubby's birthday) as the need-to-know-by so we could make the reservation for the last full week of June, with the knowledge of how big a cabin we would need. We ended up with seven adults (we didn't count children because they wouldn't be paying, and could sleep on couches and/or chairs anyway and didn't eat that much) and had two couples and three singles. It ended up costing each adult only $219.00!!!! For the week!!!! Lodging, gasoline, and groceries. We bought 3 boxes/bags of cereal, a big box of strawberry PopTarts, 3 loaves of bread (2 white, 1 wheat) for toast & sandwiches, lunchmeat & cheese (ham, turkey, bologna, American, mini ColbyJack) milk, cases of water, snacks, condiments etc. We had made a menu of the suppers we were going to make and made a comprehensive shopping list of all the ingredients so nothing was wasted, and nothing extra was bought. We ate either breakfast or lunch every day before venturing out, and made supper when we came back. The only time we "ate out" was Friday morning when we were heading home, and each paid their own then, and each knew ahead of time. The gasoline was figured by keeping receipts on the way down, and multiplied for the trip home. I dare anyone to do better than that for a week-long trip away from home! OK, 5 days. But, still...
We got a 4 BR cabin with a main floor - a kitchen, dining room, one bedroom (K) & bathroom, laundry room, an upstairs - one bedroom (K) & bathroom, a downstairs - two bedrooms (Q) (D) & one bathroom, and a big game and a kitchen. There were two balconies - on the main floor, one that had a grill & a picnic table & rocking chairs and downstairs one that had a picnic table and around the corner, a hot tub!
We got there Sunday afternoon and found our cabin. If one has never driven UP the mountains before, looking for a cabin, please know that this is quite an experience. Hair-raising turns and cars (and trucks and SUVs) appearing out of nowhere and 'Do I turn here?' and 'Is this it?'s 'No' and keep going up and keep going up and keep going up and then finally BAM there it is. Whew. Unload and unload and unload. NOW you (the female) gotta go back down to the grocery store for week's shopping. Just knowing everyone else is back at the cabin luxurating in the hot tub while you are traipsing around a strange grocery store makes the blood boil even more, let me tell you. Even though I had my daughter-in-law with me and she did all the running searching for things we missed here and there, I was SO ready to be done with that shopping and get back to the cabin.
Monday, we went into Pigeon Forge. The Titanic Museum is great! We were gonna go see the Wax Museum but decided to pass on it after Titanic took longer than expected. We then spent some time at the Incredible Christmas Place (what a surprise...). I love that place! My grandson was not as thrilled with the train display out front as I thought he would be. I was though - I could watch it for quite some time. And I'd rather watch it in June than November or December. LOL Then back to the cabin for supper and playing games all evening. We did bring the Wii, so we either played game shows like Pictionary, Wheel of Fortune, Jeopardy on it, or we played cards or board games.
Tuesday, we drove over to Cherokee. We stopped at an overlook for pictures, then at Newfound Gap. It is so easy to take a zillion pictures of the Smokies. They are just that beautiful. It is so hard to do them justice in a photo, though. No, we did NOT go to Clingman's Dome. I am not a glutton for punishment, and I do know my limitations. I reached those when we went to Mingo Falls. While in Cherokee, my sister and grandson went to the Museum of the Cherokee Indians, and daughter-in-law went shopping. My husband, my son, and I went to the casino. Guess who was done doing their chosen activity first? Yep, us three. We had fun, though. On the way back to the cabin, we searched for, found, and stopped at Mingo Falls. At said falls, you climb steps they have put in. When we went there many years ago, those steps were not there. THAT was rough. Now, you just climb steps. Still rough, but just steps. But soooooooo worth it. Mingo Falls are gorgeous. My son, daughter-in-law, and grandson took off their shoes and socks and got in the creek and played around once they had come back down from looking at the falls. They were done playing by the time I finally made it down to the parking lot. Yep, I am old and fat and slow.
Wednesday was Gatlinburg day. I had abused my legs so much I could not go. I was so upset! This was when I was starting my Christmas shopping! Boohoo! So, the rest of my family went without me. I stayed at the cabin and rested my poor legs. It did feel good to do nothing. I just laid around, read my book, played Wii (Wheel of Fortune) with my friend Bert, and had a very relaxing day.
Thursday we went to Cade's Cove. If you have ever been there, then you know that this the place to go to see wildlife and stay cool while doing so. You travel through there doing about 20 mph or so, and get your eyes full of deer, wild turkey, horses, and maybe, if you're lucky, bear. We were not lucky. We saw lots of deer, one herd of horses, and a couple of turkeys. We sure were glad to get to the halfway point and the visitor center and the bathroom, though! On the way back, a tree had fallen down across the road just a few minutes before! Wow, big excitement! There were only five cars ahead of us, so it had not happened very long ago. It was awesome. Guys jumping out of cars everywhere, grabbing branches, and throwing them to the side. I grabbed my camera and got out, too. Because of my health, I cannot lift and carry and could not help. My grandson says (loudly, of course) "Granny, really? Pictures?" in the most incredulous voice. I found where the tree had broke, and took pictures of that, too. Then we took the Gatlinburg by-pass and stopped and took pictures of Gatlinburg from overhead. From the skylift would have been good, too, but it was down for maintenance the two days we were there.
Friday we headed home. We stopped at Apple Barn for breakfast. This is on Apple Valley Road. Well, breakfast at Applewood Restaurant at Apple Barn. Then, visited the little Christmas shop there, as well as the winery. I don't think the ice cream shop was open yet. I don't know, I didn't walk back that far. I just took pictures of the big Apple Barn there in the back and of the winery & the Christmas shop.
I still say vacations are wonderful, even though you do regular stuff, just in different places.
Absolutely wonderful. Both mentally and physically. A peace fills your soul, your mind, your body, even though you really don't do anything that very different than the things you do every single day.
True, you may do them in a different place, in a different state, but they are still the same things. But you are vacation and that makes all the difference in the world
We just went to Gatlinburg/Pigeon Forge in the Smoky Mountains in Tennessee for our vacation this year. We planned on renting a cabin instead of doing the hotel bit right in town, and asked all friends and family members starting way back in FEBRUARY if they would be interested. The more adults we got in on the trip, the cheaper the weeks' lodging would be was our argument, plus we would pay now, and could 'save' more for spending on vacation after the lodging, gasoline, and groceries were paid for. We gave a deadline of March 21 (my hubby's birthday) as the need-to-know-by so we could make the reservation for the last full week of June, with the knowledge of how big a cabin we would need. We ended up with seven adults (we didn't count children because they wouldn't be paying, and could sleep on couches and/or chairs anyway and didn't eat that much) and had two couples and three singles. It ended up costing each adult only $219.00!!!! For the week!!!! Lodging, gasoline, and groceries. We bought 3 boxes/bags of cereal, a big box of strawberry PopTarts, 3 loaves of bread (2 white, 1 wheat) for toast & sandwiches, lunchmeat & cheese (ham, turkey, bologna, American, mini ColbyJack) milk, cases of water, snacks, condiments etc. We had made a menu of the suppers we were going to make and made a comprehensive shopping list of all the ingredients so nothing was wasted, and nothing extra was bought. We ate either breakfast or lunch every day before venturing out, and made supper when we came back. The only time we "ate out" was Friday morning when we were heading home, and each paid their own then, and each knew ahead of time. The gasoline was figured by keeping receipts on the way down, and multiplied for the trip home. I dare anyone to do better than that for a week-long trip away from home! OK, 5 days. But, still...
We got a 4 BR cabin with a main floor - a kitchen, dining room, one bedroom (K) & bathroom, laundry room, an upstairs - one bedroom (K) & bathroom, a downstairs - two bedrooms (Q) (D) & one bathroom, and a big game and a kitchen. There were two balconies - on the main floor, one that had a grill & a picnic table & rocking chairs and downstairs one that had a picnic table and around the corner, a hot tub!
We got there Sunday afternoon and found our cabin. If one has never driven UP the mountains before, looking for a cabin, please know that this is quite an experience. Hair-raising turns and cars (and trucks and SUVs) appearing out of nowhere and 'Do I turn here?' and 'Is this it?'s 'No' and keep going up and keep going up and keep going up and then finally BAM there it is. Whew. Unload and unload and unload. NOW you (the female) gotta go back down to the grocery store for week's shopping. Just knowing everyone else is back at the cabin luxurating in the hot tub while you are traipsing around a strange grocery store makes the blood boil even more, let me tell you. Even though I had my daughter-in-law with me and she did all the running searching for things we missed here and there, I was SO ready to be done with that shopping and get back to the cabin.
Monday, we went into Pigeon Forge. The Titanic Museum is great! We were gonna go see the Wax Museum but decided to pass on it after Titanic took longer than expected. We then spent some time at the Incredible Christmas Place (what a surprise...). I love that place! My grandson was not as thrilled with the train display out front as I thought he would be. I was though - I could watch it for quite some time. And I'd rather watch it in June than November or December. LOL Then back to the cabin for supper and playing games all evening. We did bring the Wii, so we either played game shows like Pictionary, Wheel of Fortune, Jeopardy on it, or we played cards or board games.
Tuesday, we drove over to Cherokee. We stopped at an overlook for pictures, then at Newfound Gap. It is so easy to take a zillion pictures of the Smokies. They are just that beautiful. It is so hard to do them justice in a photo, though. No, we did NOT go to Clingman's Dome. I am not a glutton for punishment, and I do know my limitations. I reached those when we went to Mingo Falls. While in Cherokee, my sister and grandson went to the Museum of the Cherokee Indians, and daughter-in-law went shopping. My husband, my son, and I went to the casino. Guess who was done doing their chosen activity first? Yep, us three. We had fun, though. On the way back to the cabin, we searched for, found, and stopped at Mingo Falls. At said falls, you climb steps they have put in. When we went there many years ago, those steps were not there. THAT was rough. Now, you just climb steps. Still rough, but just steps. But soooooooo worth it. Mingo Falls are gorgeous. My son, daughter-in-law, and grandson took off their shoes and socks and got in the creek and played around once they had come back down from looking at the falls. They were done playing by the time I finally made it down to the parking lot. Yep, I am old and fat and slow.
Wednesday was Gatlinburg day. I had abused my legs so much I could not go. I was so upset! This was when I was starting my Christmas shopping! Boohoo! So, the rest of my family went without me. I stayed at the cabin and rested my poor legs. It did feel good to do nothing. I just laid around, read my book, played Wii (Wheel of Fortune) with my friend Bert, and had a very relaxing day.
Thursday we went to Cade's Cove. If you have ever been there, then you know that this the place to go to see wildlife and stay cool while doing so. You travel through there doing about 20 mph or so, and get your eyes full of deer, wild turkey, horses, and maybe, if you're lucky, bear. We were not lucky. We saw lots of deer, one herd of horses, and a couple of turkeys. We sure were glad to get to the halfway point and the visitor center and the bathroom, though! On the way back, a tree had fallen down across the road just a few minutes before! Wow, big excitement! There were only five cars ahead of us, so it had not happened very long ago. It was awesome. Guys jumping out of cars everywhere, grabbing branches, and throwing them to the side. I grabbed my camera and got out, too. Because of my health, I cannot lift and carry and could not help. My grandson says (loudly, of course) "Granny, really? Pictures?" in the most incredulous voice. I found where the tree had broke, and took pictures of that, too. Then we took the Gatlinburg by-pass and stopped and took pictures of Gatlinburg from overhead. From the skylift would have been good, too, but it was down for maintenance the two days we were there.
Friday we headed home. We stopped at Apple Barn for breakfast. This is on Apple Valley Road. Well, breakfast at Applewood Restaurant at Apple Barn. Then, visited the little Christmas shop there, as well as the winery. I don't think the ice cream shop was open yet. I don't know, I didn't walk back that far. I just took pictures of the big Apple Barn there in the back and of the winery & the Christmas shop.
I still say vacations are wonderful, even though you do regular stuff, just in different places.
Friday, May 31, 2013
What to do? What to do?
Well, it is getting to be that time of year.
Vacation time!
Less than a month to go. I have already started lists, made piles of stuff to take, and so forth.
Now, these fierce headaches I have been getting are slowing me down. I DON"T LIKE THAT. Usually, I can just keep on doing while suffering the headache, since it is constant, but these headaches are vicious. I can't bend over. I can't move quickly (not that that happens all that often! lol). I can't change my position from sitting to standing or vice versa. I can't finish a thought, let alone a project. When it feels like the whole side of your head is being torn open, you (well, me...) just cannot move for those few minutes. Maybe only seconds, but they feel like minutes. And they LAST for minutes, even after the initial attack. It is not easy to predict when they are going to hit - sometimes, I expect one to and it doesn't happen. Other times, one hits out of the blue and stops me cold. Living in fear of an 'attack' is not fun.
But - I cannot get into vacation mode while this is happening!! I WANT to be in vacation mode!! I have things to do, lists to make, things to pack, clothes to pick out and put aside to pack!! I am 'in charge' of this vacation for my family, and I feel next to useless after one of these hit, and am afraid to move and bring one on, since I don't know when to expect the next big hit. I also seem to be swollen. Everywhere. My shoulder got very, very sore as I was walking and shopping with my sister yesterday. I know my purse is heavy, but that just does not happen. My sister also told me that, to her, I LOOK swollen all over. I know for a fact that my hands, fingers, ankles, and feet are a bit swollen all the time anymore, and that is another worry. AND I have been having sugar lows during the night. Once, my level was down to 50!! Hoping that Doc agrees to take me off one of my meds for diabetes, since I have it under much better control, but that has to wait til the 18th!! I wish I would be losing the weight the not-eating should be bringing on...but that's a whole nother story.
I will do what I can, when I can, as I can. I will keep writing my lists and adding to them as needed (or as I remember stuff...) and the vacation will be what it is. But, damn, I wish I felt like me.
Friday, May 24, 2013
Headaches are a pain in the ass
I have had headaches just about my entire life. Anyone who knows me, knows this. It is a fact. I have a constant headache. Always. Dull. Ache. Always.
I went to a neurologist after neurologist trying to find out why. One finally did a CT Scan and an MRI, and found the reason. I have abnormal veins/arteries in my brain. After the main artery branches out, the veins on the right side of my head are not big, full veins allowing good blood flow. I start a regimen of drugs. Finally, one neurologist and I both agree on what to do: drugs to control the pain, and to help hold the blood vessel open. There is nothing else to do, since I refuse to even think about brain surgery.
I do this for a few years, then Ron's insurance kicks me off, since I am working in a place that offers their own health insurance. Yipes! So, all the drugs I am on that you are supposed to be weaned off of, are suddenly not refilled, and I have a mini meltdown, going through a type of withdrawal. After I am finally through all of that, I am now basically drug-free but for OTC meds, and I am now dealing with the constant headaches again. Nothing I haven't done before!
Now, I am having worse and worse - fierce, I call them - headaches. It feels like someone (something?) is stabbing a pair of scissors, or a small paring knife, or an ice pick into my forehead above my right eye, then tearing it around the corner to and through my temple. This HURTS. Sometimes, it is debilitating. I cannot, absolutely, positively cannot move while this [makes hand gestures] is going through my head. And I am sure that I whine like a sick puppy as it is happening, too. I am so glad that they subside - though the pain is still in my forehead - from the radiating. If the radiating continued nonstop, I would be in the loony bin.
I called my doctor. I can't get an appointment to see him until the first week of July. Good thing I already have one for a sugar check on June 18th! I am very picky about seeing this doctor every time I go - I hate going to different doctors. I feel that I am just another body to them, but to my doc, I am ME. I have been going to see him for a long, long time - at least 30 years, if not more. He moved from his practice to an office with other doctors and a nurse practitioner, but I am very careful to only schedule us with him. Last time I was ill (early March), I ended up seeing another doctor and he prescribed me antibiotics for a viral infection.
I did some research on the Internet, and here is what I have concluded:
When I first started my research, the Cluster Headache kinda - just kinda - sounded like what is happening, but not just quite. Most of the symptoms did not fit, although some did. I kept researching, and, FINALLY, I found the condition called Hemicrania Continua. Means, basically, "half of your head hurts constantly." HA!! All but one of the symptoms fit what is happening, and I think that last one would be covered as the 'attack' is happening, but I cannot see it then.
Anyway, after my research on the web, I called back to Doc's office and explained what I thought I had. They will leave him a message, and someone will get back with me tomorrow. They did call back this morning, and he will not just prescribe me a med without seeing this problem, and I should call a neurologist.
Sigh. I have gone down this road before, and do not really want to go down it again. But, after another morning of not being able to move without this [makes hand gestures] happening, I feel that I must. So, I call and make an appointment. For June 3rd. Well, it's better than June 18th (and then going to the neurologist), but it's still over a week away!
I also think that the blood thinners and blood pressure meds the heart doctors put me on after the mild heart attack I had January 24th have, somehow, caused some troubles with the weird blood vessels in my brain and are the reason this is happening. Of course, I have no way to prove that and will have to wait and see what the neurologist (God, I hope he isn't one I went to before, especially not the one who was scared shitless of the broach/pin of a raggedy doll I was wearing that day!) says and if he will talk to the heart doctors and figure something out. I fully expect he will just start me on another drug - the one all my research is the only thing that helps the Hemicrania Continua condition - and I will be okay with that.
I feel a bit better, just for having made the appointment.
We shall see.
I went to a neurologist after neurologist trying to find out why. One finally did a CT Scan and an MRI, and found the reason. I have abnormal veins/arteries in my brain. After the main artery branches out, the veins on the right side of my head are not big, full veins allowing good blood flow. I start a regimen of drugs. Finally, one neurologist and I both agree on what to do: drugs to control the pain, and to help hold the blood vessel open. There is nothing else to do, since I refuse to even think about brain surgery.
I do this for a few years, then Ron's insurance kicks me off, since I am working in a place that offers their own health insurance. Yipes! So, all the drugs I am on that you are supposed to be weaned off of, are suddenly not refilled, and I have a mini meltdown, going through a type of withdrawal. After I am finally through all of that, I am now basically drug-free but for OTC meds, and I am now dealing with the constant headaches again. Nothing I haven't done before!
Now, I am having worse and worse - fierce, I call them - headaches. It feels like someone (something?) is stabbing a pair of scissors, or a small paring knife, or an ice pick into my forehead above my right eye, then tearing it around the corner to and through my temple. This HURTS. Sometimes, it is debilitating. I cannot, absolutely, positively cannot move while this [makes hand gestures] is going through my head. And I am sure that I whine like a sick puppy as it is happening, too. I am so glad that they subside - though the pain is still in my forehead - from the radiating. If the radiating continued nonstop, I would be in the loony bin.
I called my doctor. I can't get an appointment to see him until the first week of July. Good thing I already have one for a sugar check on June 18th! I am very picky about seeing this doctor every time I go - I hate going to different doctors. I feel that I am just another body to them, but to my doc, I am ME. I have been going to see him for a long, long time - at least 30 years, if not more. He moved from his practice to an office with other doctors and a nurse practitioner, but I am very careful to only schedule us with him. Last time I was ill (early March), I ended up seeing another doctor and he prescribed me antibiotics for a viral infection.
I did some research on the Internet, and here is what I have concluded:
When I first started my research, the Cluster Headache kinda - just kinda - sounded like what is happening, but not just quite. Most of the symptoms did not fit, although some did. I kept researching, and, FINALLY, I found the condition called Hemicrania Continua. Means, basically, "half of your head hurts constantly." HA!! All but one of the symptoms fit what is happening, and I think that last one would be covered as the 'attack' is happening, but I cannot see it then.
Anyway, after my research on the web, I called back to Doc's office and explained what I thought I had. They will leave him a message, and someone will get back with me tomorrow. They did call back this morning, and he will not just prescribe me a med without seeing this problem, and I should call a neurologist.
Sigh. I have gone down this road before, and do not really want to go down it again. But, after another morning of not being able to move without this [makes hand gestures] happening, I feel that I must. So, I call and make an appointment. For June 3rd. Well, it's better than June 18th (and then going to the neurologist), but it's still over a week away!
I also think that the blood thinners and blood pressure meds the heart doctors put me on after the mild heart attack I had January 24th have, somehow, caused some troubles with the weird blood vessels in my brain and are the reason this is happening. Of course, I have no way to prove that and will have to wait and see what the neurologist (God, I hope he isn't one I went to before, especially not the one who was scared shitless of the broach/pin of a raggedy doll I was wearing that day!) says and if he will talk to the heart doctors and figure something out. I fully expect he will just start me on another drug - the one all my research is the only thing that helps the Hemicrania Continua condition - and I will be okay with that.
I feel a bit better, just for having made the appointment.
We shall see.
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
My heart is hurting...
My heart has felt very heavy over the last month or so.
I am not sure why. I am certainly 'over' the passing of my dad. It's been over two and a half years, and I still get a pang - a sharp heavy pang - when I get a piece of mail addressed to him. My mother and all my grandparents have been gone for quite a while. Luckily, there have not been any deaths of my generation or the next one - not from lack of trying (none recently, thank God) in both of these generations.
Mostly, I think, from missing my maternal grandmother - and this year, her birthday fell on Mother's Day. That was always special. A special Special Day for a special woman. Even though I did not realize how special she was, and how good she was to her grandchildren, until I was an adult with my own life, family, house, etc., etc. Just knowing those two days fall together makes my heart swell with love for her.
With Spring actually being Spring this year, it makes everything a little different, also. You can dress for cool temperatures and rain when you get up in the morning, but by evening, you have melted from the sunshine and then slid home on ice. Ahhhh, Spring in the Ohio Valley. Don't like the weather? Wait a bit - it WILL change.
So, with these uncertainties on top of knowing what special days were coming up - not just Mother's Day/Mamma's birthday, but also our 36th anniversary just a couple of days later, my heart just did not know whether to be happy or sad. Add to that mix all the strange happenings in my own life this year - losing my job, having a heart attack, getting a 'seasonal' job that only lasted 8 days and the wreck it made of my health, dealing with the financial difficulties that losing a job brings, planning a family vacation, re-learning how to not go to work, and so forth - and I think my poor old heart is just plain old confused.
So, I have chosen to dwell on the happy occurrences and let the sadder aspects go. They are over with, and I can't change them, so they are history! Ta-da!
Until today, anyway.
Today I have failed myself and my youngest sister, as well as other people. I don't think I will be able to forget this for quite a while.
I got a text today, asking me to call my dad's girlfriend (ladyfriend?) because she wants to know where he is. O M G. I absolutely froze. I texted back, no. NO. I can't do it. And thus started a text conversation about why can't I? and I just can't answer that. Here I am, thinking that she has Alzheimer's or dementia or something and just can't find him. And I am frozen - there is no way in Hell that I can just tell her that he is dead. I just can't!!!! Many texts later, I come to the conclusion that she wants to know where he is - as in Where is he buried? and I feel a little better, but still ashamed of my cowardly ways.
The reason she didn't know where he is buried is that he had donated his body to science, and when the UC College of Medicine was 'done' with him, they buried him with other donors. I can't remember the name of the place - Silver Grove? Sacred Heart? I have to look up the letter from UC College of Medicine when I get home (I was running errands as all this happened) and it is Spring Grove Cemetery. They don't give the address, but I am pretty sure it is on Montgomery Road. It is a H U G E cemetery. He is in the 'donor' section
I am so mad at myself. I am very thankful that my "fragile" (she is one of the aforementioned this generation) baby sister could handle this much better than I could, but there was no reason to put her through it.
My heart is heavy. My mind, my thoughts, my brain are all blazing, railing at me, inside my head. I AM a failure and this fact is drummed into me once again.
How do I get over this? Step by step, minute by minute, day by day, etc. The happy times/happenings/events will eventually push this away, and until then, I must live with it. I think I'll go bake something.
I am not sure why. I am certainly 'over' the passing of my dad. It's been over two and a half years, and I still get a pang - a sharp heavy pang - when I get a piece of mail addressed to him. My mother and all my grandparents have been gone for quite a while. Luckily, there have not been any deaths of my generation or the next one - not from lack of trying (none recently, thank God) in both of these generations.
Mostly, I think, from missing my maternal grandmother - and this year, her birthday fell on Mother's Day. That was always special. A special Special Day for a special woman. Even though I did not realize how special she was, and how good she was to her grandchildren, until I was an adult with my own life, family, house, etc., etc. Just knowing those two days fall together makes my heart swell with love for her.
With Spring actually being Spring this year, it makes everything a little different, also. You can dress for cool temperatures and rain when you get up in the morning, but by evening, you have melted from the sunshine and then slid home on ice. Ahhhh, Spring in the Ohio Valley. Don't like the weather? Wait a bit - it WILL change.
So, with these uncertainties on top of knowing what special days were coming up - not just Mother's Day/Mamma's birthday, but also our 36th anniversary just a couple of days later, my heart just did not know whether to be happy or sad. Add to that mix all the strange happenings in my own life this year - losing my job, having a heart attack, getting a 'seasonal' job that only lasted 8 days and the wreck it made of my health, dealing with the financial difficulties that losing a job brings, planning a family vacation, re-learning how to not go to work, and so forth - and I think my poor old heart is just plain old confused.
So, I have chosen to dwell on the happy occurrences and let the sadder aspects go. They are over with, and I can't change them, so they are history! Ta-da!
Until today, anyway.
Today I have failed myself and my youngest sister, as well as other people. I don't think I will be able to forget this for quite a while.
I got a text today, asking me to call my dad's girlfriend (ladyfriend?) because she wants to know where he is. O M G. I absolutely froze. I texted back, no. NO. I can't do it. And thus started a text conversation about why can't I? and I just can't answer that. Here I am, thinking that she has Alzheimer's or dementia or something and just can't find him. And I am frozen - there is no way in Hell that I can just tell her that he is dead. I just can't!!!! Many texts later, I come to the conclusion that she wants to know where he is - as in Where is he buried? and I feel a little better, but still ashamed of my cowardly ways.
The reason she didn't know where he is buried is that he had donated his body to science, and when the UC College of Medicine was 'done' with him, they buried him with other donors. I can't remember the name of the place - Silver Grove? Sacred Heart? I have to look up the letter from UC College of Medicine when I get home (I was running errands as all this happened) and it is Spring Grove Cemetery. They don't give the address, but I am pretty sure it is on Montgomery Road. It is a H U G E cemetery. He is in the 'donor' section
I am so mad at myself. I am very thankful that my "fragile" (she is one of the aforementioned this generation) baby sister could handle this much better than I could, but there was no reason to put her through it.
My heart is heavy. My mind, my thoughts, my brain are all blazing, railing at me, inside my head. I AM a failure and this fact is drummed into me once again.
How do I get over this? Step by step, minute by minute, day by day, etc. The happy times/happenings/events will eventually push this away, and until then, I must live with it. I think I'll go bake something.
Monday, May 13, 2013
The difference a year makes
I have been in a very contemplative mood over the last couple of weeks. Doing some deep thinking, and boy, the difference between last year and this year is amazing.
May 14, 2012. Our 35th wedding anniversary.
I held a steady, if now part-time, job. I felt absolutely great about me and the things I do/did for my family.
We were preparing for going to weddings! My baby brother (who had reached the age of 42!) has a wedding date of June 16 and my nephew (well, one of them) has a wedding date of August 18. This wedding will be in Portland, OR and will be a combined going-to-the-wedding and a vacation. How excited we were! We will get to add the states of Utah (plane change), Oregon and Washington (side trip to Seattle). AND we'll get to play in the Pacific Ocean!
We had good, reliable vehicles. Although Ron's truck was old, it was what he drove back and forth to work, and to take his Zero Turn to do some mowing jobs for a bit of extra money. It definitely had a few little problems (like NO heater - well, a piss warm heater) but was his ol' dependable.
Although I had a stroke (a mini-stroke) in August 2010, I was recovering quite nicely and getting some strength back. My left side is still slower than my right side, but all-in-all, everything with my body, even though there is waaaaay too much of it, is coming together.
Remember - we live out in the boonies. The closest town to us is four miles away - any direction. My son lives 25 miles from us, even further out in the boonies. Although he lives in a small town, it is at least 30 miles to civilization, meaning work, shopping, entertainment, etc. We chose where we live, though, and we like it for the most part.
At that time, between our house and my son's house, we had 3 vehicles to get 6 people back and forth to work and school. It worked out okay - my son Josh drove my car - we worked in the same place, so he picked me up on the days I worked and just drove my car home. My sister Jean and daughter-in-law Chelle took turns driving her truck to take Corgan to school, and Chelle to work. Some inclement days, she just drove to work; others, Jean took her and went and picked her up. Ron drove his truck.
THEN, Ron's truck started quitting on him as he was driving down the road. He just could NOT figure out this problem. Sometimes he would 'fix' it and it would run fine for a day or two, then start this quitting business again. He had to ask a co-worker to come and get him and bring him home every day. Okay, we are down to 2 vehicles to ferry 6 people.
THEN, the deer played hell with our vehicles. One Saturday evening, Jean went to visit friends and, on the way home, deer were at the side of the road. Jean slowed down, but the car behind her did NOT. The hood of that car ended up touching the back tires of Jean's truck, under the bed! Jean was ok, thank God, but now her truck is totaled. A couple days later, after the insurance got done playing around, she was free to go find a 'new' vehicle, which she did. Okay, we are down to 1 vehicle for 6 people. The day that Josh was to pick her up after work, he dropped me off and went to go get her. He chose to go home a different route, so that he could drive past and make sure that her 'new' vehicle was ready to go, and on the way, deer ran across the road in front of him and he cleaned out the ditch to miss them. He managed to drive my car back here, to my house, while I went out his regular route looking for him! Finally he let me know he was back at my house, and I returned. We decided to turn this in to our insurance, cause the side of the car was a mess. We drove it up to a shop in town and the insurance people went there and checked it out. They totaled it! We were flabbergasted! So surprised - we definitely did not expect that! So, now we are down to 0 cars for all this running we must do.
Luckily, Jean managed to take a taxi to get her 'new' vehicle, and she came to my house to pick Josh up. So, we are back to at least 1 vehicle.
Ron and I made the decision to take money out of his 401(k) to get us vehicles. This was a very tough decision, because, even though he has this, it is not the best of savings for our future. But something had to be done, and soon! We figured that we would be able to buy one vehicle and make a nice down payment on another. So, we did. Whew - we are back to 3 vehicles!
This was a very stressful time for all of us. But we made it through it!
On January 2, we (Josh and I) returned to work after the holidays. I was told, "don't come back tomorrow" along with most of the people in the factory. Josh got to keep coming in to work as they were closing down because of the department(s) he was in. So, now, I am unemployed - I call it 'retired' even though technically I am too young to retire. Certainly didn't expect that. We all knew the plant would close at some point this year, but not the first day of work in the new year! Wow.
I do what I was supposed to, and it takes almost a month for my unemployment to kick in. Boy, what a difference not having my dinky paycheck made!
On January 24, we went out to dinner with friends. On the way home, I started having a strange naggy pain under my left armpit. When we got home, Ron went to bed and I played around on the computer. Around 11, I went to bed also, but that pain was still there and just would. not. go. away., so I got back up and checked WebMD on the computer. EVERYTHING I read said, "go to the ER" so I eventually woke Ron up after midnight, and off we went.
After a blue zillion tests - blood tests, EKGs, finger sticks (to check my sugar), x-rays, and all kinds of things, they told me that my enzymes were elevated and that meant that I have had a heart attack. WHAT???? They were going to admit me to the hospital, but were going to wait til after the morning shift change. So I laid on that hardass ER room bed for a couple more hours. After a visit from a cardiologist, they have now decided to send me to a different hospital, so that I can have another test (that they can't do). So, finally, an ambulance shows up to take me and off I go. There, the test happens and they end up putting 4 stents in me. FOUR!! So, I stayed the night in the hospital and they let me go home the next day. The doctors said I was very lucky, that I came to hospital as soon as I did, or it could have been a lot worse.
Mid-February, Josh and Chelle got their tax return, and finally found them a car. Yay! Now we have 4 vehicles (and one less person running...).
We start thinking about vacation. We have not had a nice family vacation for a few years, that all of us could go on together. Josh & Chelle had not been able to go to Oregon with us last year, because of when Josh was off work and they were still cleaning up after that. Just Ron, Jean, Corgan, and I had gone. I have been going to Gatlinburg with my friend and her family - an all-girls trip, in a big cabin that doesn't cost all of us much - and Gatlinburg was one of the ideas that came up for us this year. I checked into the cabins for us, and we decided that this is where we want to go. We asked around family and friends, because the more people sharing the cabin, the less it costs. We have ended up with 7 adults going, and Corgan.
We are all set to go in June - the cabin has been rented, and plans have started to be made.
SO:
May 14, 2013. Our 36th anniversary.
I am 'retired.' Unemployed, and am thinking that I will probably not every really work again. I got a 'seasonal' job that lasted 8 days, as opposed to the 4-6 weeks they told me, and it just about did me in. I am OLD. It may be time to seriously think about disability when my unemployment runs out.
We are preparing for vacation. Just a quiet (yeah, right) enjoyable time away.
We have good, reliable vehicles. We went through a special kind of hell to get the vehicles that we have now, but they are less than 10 years old - both of them! - and should go and go and go for quite a few years, barring accidents and DEER.
Although I have now had both a stroke and a heart attack, my health is good. I am still overweight, but I have my diabetes under much better control (stress is gone!) and I feel good most days. Sometimes, I get a bit depressed and feel useless, but that is normal in any woman's life. I am getting used to working with the monies we have now, and have almost caught everything up that fell behind the beginning of the year.
We have a new baby in the family. One of my nieces gave birth the end of March, and there is another baby coming in June. They are both boys! Jean and I even got to go to both of the baby showers! The new baby's dad (my nephew) is home from serving in the military overseas. He is still in the military, but he is home, not deployed anywhere. So, one sister and one brother have become grandparents again.
Another of my brothers will be getting married in July. This will be his fourth marriage, and I'm not sure if we will go to his wedding or not. It would be nice, but with our monies the way they are, I am not sure we can afford to go so soon after vacation. We shall see.
So, all I can say is - what a difference a year makes!!!!
May 14, 2012. Our 35th wedding anniversary.
I held a steady, if now part-time, job. I felt absolutely great about me and the things I do/did for my family.
We were preparing for going to weddings! My baby brother (who had reached the age of 42!) has a wedding date of June 16 and my nephew (well, one of them) has a wedding date of August 18. This wedding will be in Portland, OR and will be a combined going-to-the-wedding and a vacation. How excited we were! We will get to add the states of Utah (plane change), Oregon and Washington (side trip to Seattle). AND we'll get to play in the Pacific Ocean!
We had good, reliable vehicles. Although Ron's truck was old, it was what he drove back and forth to work, and to take his Zero Turn to do some mowing jobs for a bit of extra money. It definitely had a few little problems (like NO heater - well, a piss warm heater) but was his ol' dependable.
Although I had a stroke (a mini-stroke) in August 2010, I was recovering quite nicely and getting some strength back. My left side is still slower than my right side, but all-in-all, everything with my body, even though there is waaaaay too much of it, is coming together.
Remember - we live out in the boonies. The closest town to us is four miles away - any direction. My son lives 25 miles from us, even further out in the boonies. Although he lives in a small town, it is at least 30 miles to civilization, meaning work, shopping, entertainment, etc. We chose where we live, though, and we like it for the most part.
At that time, between our house and my son's house, we had 3 vehicles to get 6 people back and forth to work and school. It worked out okay - my son Josh drove my car - we worked in the same place, so he picked me up on the days I worked and just drove my car home. My sister Jean and daughter-in-law Chelle took turns driving her truck to take Corgan to school, and Chelle to work. Some inclement days, she just drove to work; others, Jean took her and went and picked her up. Ron drove his truck.
THEN, Ron's truck started quitting on him as he was driving down the road. He just could NOT figure out this problem. Sometimes he would 'fix' it and it would run fine for a day or two, then start this quitting business again. He had to ask a co-worker to come and get him and bring him home every day. Okay, we are down to 2 vehicles to ferry 6 people.
THEN, the deer played hell with our vehicles. One Saturday evening, Jean went to visit friends and, on the way home, deer were at the side of the road. Jean slowed down, but the car behind her did NOT. The hood of that car ended up touching the back tires of Jean's truck, under the bed! Jean was ok, thank God, but now her truck is totaled. A couple days later, after the insurance got done playing around, she was free to go find a 'new' vehicle, which she did. Okay, we are down to 1 vehicle for 6 people. The day that Josh was to pick her up after work, he dropped me off and went to go get her. He chose to go home a different route, so that he could drive past and make sure that her 'new' vehicle was ready to go, and on the way, deer ran across the road in front of him and he cleaned out the ditch to miss them. He managed to drive my car back here, to my house, while I went out his regular route looking for him! Finally he let me know he was back at my house, and I returned. We decided to turn this in to our insurance, cause the side of the car was a mess. We drove it up to a shop in town and the insurance people went there and checked it out. They totaled it! We were flabbergasted! So surprised - we definitely did not expect that! So, now we are down to 0 cars for all this running we must do.
Luckily, Jean managed to take a taxi to get her 'new' vehicle, and she came to my house to pick Josh up. So, we are back to at least 1 vehicle.
Ron and I made the decision to take money out of his 401(k) to get us vehicles. This was a very tough decision, because, even though he has this, it is not the best of savings for our future. But something had to be done, and soon! We figured that we would be able to buy one vehicle and make a nice down payment on another. So, we did. Whew - we are back to 3 vehicles!
This was a very stressful time for all of us. But we made it through it!
On January 2, we (Josh and I) returned to work after the holidays. I was told, "don't come back tomorrow" along with most of the people in the factory. Josh got to keep coming in to work as they were closing down because of the department(s) he was in. So, now, I am unemployed - I call it 'retired' even though technically I am too young to retire. Certainly didn't expect that. We all knew the plant would close at some point this year, but not the first day of work in the new year! Wow.
I do what I was supposed to, and it takes almost a month for my unemployment to kick in. Boy, what a difference not having my dinky paycheck made!
On January 24, we went out to dinner with friends. On the way home, I started having a strange naggy pain under my left armpit. When we got home, Ron went to bed and I played around on the computer. Around 11, I went to bed also, but that pain was still there and just would. not. go. away., so I got back up and checked WebMD on the computer. EVERYTHING I read said, "go to the ER" so I eventually woke Ron up after midnight, and off we went.
After a blue zillion tests - blood tests, EKGs, finger sticks (to check my sugar), x-rays, and all kinds of things, they told me that my enzymes were elevated and that meant that I have had a heart attack. WHAT???? They were going to admit me to the hospital, but were going to wait til after the morning shift change. So I laid on that hardass ER room bed for a couple more hours. After a visit from a cardiologist, they have now decided to send me to a different hospital, so that I can have another test (that they can't do). So, finally, an ambulance shows up to take me and off I go. There, the test happens and they end up putting 4 stents in me. FOUR!! So, I stayed the night in the hospital and they let me go home the next day. The doctors said I was very lucky, that I came to hospital as soon as I did, or it could have been a lot worse.
Mid-February, Josh and Chelle got their tax return, and finally found them a car. Yay! Now we have 4 vehicles (and one less person running...).
We start thinking about vacation. We have not had a nice family vacation for a few years, that all of us could go on together. Josh & Chelle had not been able to go to Oregon with us last year, because of when Josh was off work and they were still cleaning up after that. Just Ron, Jean, Corgan, and I had gone. I have been going to Gatlinburg with my friend and her family - an all-girls trip, in a big cabin that doesn't cost all of us much - and Gatlinburg was one of the ideas that came up for us this year. I checked into the cabins for us, and we decided that this is where we want to go. We asked around family and friends, because the more people sharing the cabin, the less it costs. We have ended up with 7 adults going, and Corgan.
We are all set to go in June - the cabin has been rented, and plans have started to be made.
SO:
May 14, 2013. Our 36th anniversary.
I am 'retired.' Unemployed, and am thinking that I will probably not every really work again. I got a 'seasonal' job that lasted 8 days, as opposed to the 4-6 weeks they told me, and it just about did me in. I am OLD. It may be time to seriously think about disability when my unemployment runs out.
We are preparing for vacation. Just a quiet (yeah, right) enjoyable time away.
We have good, reliable vehicles. We went through a special kind of hell to get the vehicles that we have now, but they are less than 10 years old - both of them! - and should go and go and go for quite a few years, barring accidents and DEER.
Although I have now had both a stroke and a heart attack, my health is good. I am still overweight, but I have my diabetes under much better control (stress is gone!) and I feel good most days. Sometimes, I get a bit depressed and feel useless, but that is normal in any woman's life. I am getting used to working with the monies we have now, and have almost caught everything up that fell behind the beginning of the year.
We have a new baby in the family. One of my nieces gave birth the end of March, and there is another baby coming in June. They are both boys! Jean and I even got to go to both of the baby showers! The new baby's dad (my nephew) is home from serving in the military overseas. He is still in the military, but he is home, not deployed anywhere. So, one sister and one brother have become grandparents again.
Another of my brothers will be getting married in July. This will be his fourth marriage, and I'm not sure if we will go to his wedding or not. It would be nice, but with our monies the way they are, I am not sure we can afford to go so soon after vacation. We shall see.
So, all I can say is - what a difference a year makes!!!!
Sunday, April 28, 2013
The journey of my life takes another turn...
My seasonal job is over. After 8 days. Over.
They told me when I was hired that the work would be 4 to 6 weeks. That was wonderful - just long enough for me to earn enough money to take care of some problems that came up after I lost my job so suddenly in early in January.
So, here it is 8 days later and the job is over. I had to turn in my badge when I was sent home at 3:30 this morning, so it. is. over. I am just not sure how I feel about this.
Physically, the job was killing me. My feet, ankles and hands are swollen to the point of the skin breaking open. I gained weight. My sleep and sleep patterns are in the toilet. My sugar - which I did have under decent control - is now up over 200 again. I have paper cuts all over my hands, too.
Monetarily, it will help make things right, but not it isn't enough. I expected a month!
I am happy that I won't have to drive downtown anymore - it was a very long drive. 36 miles one way, in fact. And then I had to drive home directly into the sun. Didn't help in the headache department...
I am happy that I can get back to sleeping with my husband, even though my sleep habits aren't the greatest in the world.
I am happy that I could do this little bit to help out in the situation that my losing my job helped create.
I am happy that I was still 'hire-able' at 54.
I am happy that I was able to do a good job (I keep telling myself that I did such an awesome job that the facility got through the work a lot quicker than usual. LOL).
I suppose I am very happy that I can now be 'retired' again and can work up different ways to get us out of the hole we are in. May having 5 paydays will help tremendously, and I have already made up plans for each of those paydays. I know, I know. Wanna make God laugh - make some plans! But I made plans for the monies I would earn, and now that is gone. What else ya gonna do?
I must accept the things that happened, and know that they happened for a reason. Doesn't mean I like it, just means I accept it. Life is quite the journey.
They told me when I was hired that the work would be 4 to 6 weeks. That was wonderful - just long enough for me to earn enough money to take care of some problems that came up after I lost my job so suddenly in early in January.
So, here it is 8 days later and the job is over. I had to turn in my badge when I was sent home at 3:30 this morning, so it. is. over. I am just not sure how I feel about this.
Physically, the job was killing me. My feet, ankles and hands are swollen to the point of the skin breaking open. I gained weight. My sleep and sleep patterns are in the toilet. My sugar - which I did have under decent control - is now up over 200 again. I have paper cuts all over my hands, too.
Monetarily, it will help make things right, but not it isn't enough. I expected a month!
I am happy that I won't have to drive downtown anymore - it was a very long drive. 36 miles one way, in fact. And then I had to drive home directly into the sun. Didn't help in the headache department...
I am happy that I can get back to sleeping with my husband, even though my sleep habits aren't the greatest in the world.
I am happy that I could do this little bit to help out in the situation that my losing my job helped create.
I am happy that I was still 'hire-able' at 54.
I am happy that I was able to do a good job (I keep telling myself that I did such an awesome job that the facility got through the work a lot quicker than usual. LOL).
I suppose I am very happy that I can now be 'retired' again and can work up different ways to get us out of the hole we are in. May having 5 paydays will help tremendously, and I have already made up plans for each of those paydays. I know, I know. Wanna make God laugh - make some plans! But I made plans for the monies I would earn, and now that is gone. What else ya gonna do?
I must accept the things that happened, and know that they happened for a reason. Doesn't mean I like it, just means I accept it. Life is quite the journey.
Thursday, April 25, 2013
This "last" month is a very rough journey
When I embarked on this month-long journey, I was kinda looking forward to it. Looking forward to having a job again, feeling as if I were pulling my weight in this fight we call life, looking forward to having something to do every day. Looking forward to being able to work this "last month" before we start on the no money way of life losing a job creates.
Well.
Now, I think "What the hell was I thinking?!" I am sore and tired and grumpy from lack of sleep. I CAN DO ANYTHING FOR ONE MONTH was my thinking last week. HA!! It hasn't even been I week, and here I am second-guessing myself already.
It's not the work. The work itself is not hard. I sit in a chair and open mail, and sort what comes out of the envelopes. It's the not seeing Ron or the rest of my family, it's the upside-down way of life that 3rd shift demands, it's not having any kind of life outside of working or sleeping, it's driving over 35 miles ONE WAY just to "do my share," it's the worry about my health that has started (I have a bump on my leg - not sure if it is a varicose vein, or if my legs are swelling from sitting so much) and so on and so on and so on. It's the not knowing about the money - I have to record what I make for unemployment, but I haven't received any of said money yet (I will get a two-day paycheck tomorrow) - and how is this gonna mess up my unemployment? thoughts. I am hoping that, since this is a seasonal job, I can pick right back up where I was. But, I'm sure it really won't be that easy.
One month - 30 days. I really can do this. I can do anything for one month!!
6 down, 24 to go. And I will probably have to work each and every one of them. Sigh.
Well.
Now, I think "What the hell was I thinking?!" I am sore and tired and grumpy from lack of sleep. I CAN DO ANYTHING FOR ONE MONTH was my thinking last week. HA!! It hasn't even been I week, and here I am second-guessing myself already.
It's not the work. The work itself is not hard. I sit in a chair and open mail, and sort what comes out of the envelopes. It's the not seeing Ron or the rest of my family, it's the upside-down way of life that 3rd shift demands, it's not having any kind of life outside of working or sleeping, it's driving over 35 miles ONE WAY just to "do my share," it's the worry about my health that has started (I have a bump on my leg - not sure if it is a varicose vein, or if my legs are swelling from sitting so much) and so on and so on and so on. It's the not knowing about the money - I have to record what I make for unemployment, but I haven't received any of said money yet (I will get a two-day paycheck tomorrow) - and how is this gonna mess up my unemployment? thoughts. I am hoping that, since this is a seasonal job, I can pick right back up where I was. But, I'm sure it really won't be that easy.
One month - 30 days. I really can do this. I can do anything for one month!!
6 down, 24 to go. And I will probably have to work each and every one of them. Sigh.
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Working again
I have survived starting this job - a third shift job - and I feel good about myself right now!
I called the 'hotline' and I am off tonight! Hooray! I fully expected to NOT have a day off for at least a week, and that I would possibly be called in to work on that night. I am so relieved!! I am planning - note: planning - to actually sleep tonight, then get up tomorrow and do the running that I couldn't do on Saturday, then take a nap so I will last the night at work again. We'll see how it turns out.
While I am doing this seasonal job, I would like to apologize to people in advance if it seems I am ignoring you, because I am not. I am just working third shift, thus not having much of a life during the day. I will be spending time with Ron in the evenings - IF I don't go in to work early - so may not be paying a lot of attention to the outside world. I will try to still get on the computer every day, but may not, depending on circumstances.
Hopefully, I will only have to do this for a month, perhaps six weeks, and then life can get back to 'normal' and all will be well.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Nothing like finding out you are RELATED to your husband!!
YUCK.
But, then - whew - finding out that it is three (3) generations back, and on the non-blood line. I think I can live with that. Seeing that we've been married for 36 years, come May 14th, I guess I better be ok with it!
Anyway, it turns out that my husband's grandmother is one of my great-aunt's husband's sister. How weird is that?
HIS LINE MY LINE
Him Me
Dad (biological) Mother
Mildred Potrafke is Grandma Grandfather (his half sister married Edward Potrafke, who
is Mildred's brother)
F R E A K Y !!!!! Totally freaky!!
YUCK.
But, then - whew - finding out that it is three (3) generations back, and on the non-blood line. I think I can live with that. Seeing that we've been married for 36 years, come May 14th, I guess I better be ok with it!
Anyway, it turns out that my husband's grandmother is one of my great-aunt's husband's sister. How weird is that?
HIS LINE MY LINE
Him Me
Dad (biological) Mother
Mildred Potrafke is Grandma Grandfather (his half sister married Edward Potrafke, who
is Mildred's brother)
F R E A K Y !!!!! Totally freaky!!
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Our strange Wednesday
Today was probably one of the most ~interesting~ days I have had for a while.
First of all, I stayed up til 4am last night so I could get used to being up all night. You know, preparing for working third shift. So, I figured I would sleep until 1 or 2, then could do so again tonight. Well, of course it didn't happen that way. I still got up at 10am!! Figuring that I would just take a nap later, I got up. AND - Ron was home! He was supposed to be off tomorrow (Thursday) so he could work Saturday, but something got screwed up and they sent him home early today instead. He was working on 'detailing' my car, and I just let him.
Soon, he called me out to the garage for some help. He had backed my car into the garage, put down the back seats, laid out the Bengals blanket, and <<blush>> success! Car initiated! LOL
Then, we decided to go out to lunch. So he loaded his dad's old bike into the back of the truck and off we went. We stopped a couple of places to see if anyone would like to buy that bike, but no luck. It was recommended to us to post it on Craigslist for more exposure.
After lunch at Bob Evans, after going into WalMart for a couple things, I took a couple pictures of the bike - one of each side - and then experienced setting up our Craigslist account and posting the bike for sale. Whew!
He went outside to mow and piddle around in the garage, and I stayed in the house and did laundry and stuff (just like I do every day). I never did get a nap. I just could NOT fall asleep. My eyes are burning like it's midnight, but no sleep yet. So, I guess, I will go to bed at 9 and hopefully, wake up early tomorrow so I can get a nap tomorrow afternoon so I can stay up all night Thursday night, cause Friday night will be here before I know it.
We are just watching NCIS reruns tonight. Nothing else good is on, and we are satisfied with watching these.
Just a nice, relaxing strange day!!! I am hoping to get back to 'routine' tomorrow!!
First of all, I stayed up til 4am last night so I could get used to being up all night. You know, preparing for working third shift. So, I figured I would sleep until 1 or 2, then could do so again tonight. Well, of course it didn't happen that way. I still got up at 10am!! Figuring that I would just take a nap later, I got up. AND - Ron was home! He was supposed to be off tomorrow (Thursday) so he could work Saturday, but something got screwed up and they sent him home early today instead. He was working on 'detailing' my car, and I just let him.
Soon, he called me out to the garage for some help. He had backed my car into the garage, put down the back seats, laid out the Bengals blanket, and <<blush>> success! Car initiated! LOL
Then, we decided to go out to lunch. So he loaded his dad's old bike into the back of the truck and off we went. We stopped a couple of places to see if anyone would like to buy that bike, but no luck. It was recommended to us to post it on Craigslist for more exposure.
After lunch at Bob Evans, after going into WalMart for a couple things, I took a couple pictures of the bike - one of each side - and then experienced setting up our Craigslist account and posting the bike for sale. Whew!
He went outside to mow and piddle around in the garage, and I stayed in the house and did laundry and stuff (just like I do every day). I never did get a nap. I just could NOT fall asleep. My eyes are burning like it's midnight, but no sleep yet. So, I guess, I will go to bed at 9 and hopefully, wake up early tomorrow so I can get a nap tomorrow afternoon so I can stay up all night Thursday night, cause Friday night will be here before I know it.
We are just watching NCIS reruns tonight. Nothing else good is on, and we are satisfied with watching these.
Just a nice, relaxing strange day!!! I am hoping to get back to 'routine' tomorrow!!
The FIRST blog
I know that I am probably WAY in the minority here, but I am sick of all the news following this happening in Boston. By that, I mean, EVERY local channel, EVERY network news, EVERY minute (it seems) following this, was consumed by this story. Why?
True, it is a tragedy. It is a tragedy the way it happened, when it happened, and how it happened. But - sorry, news folks, I do not need to hear constantly what is going on in the aftermath. Same story, different people, over and over.
But - every tornado that strikes is also a tragedy for the area it happens in. MANY more people are killed, and, sometimes, most of a single community. When a tornado strikes, though, it gets on the news - the local news - for maybe a five minute story every night for a week, then at the 6-month anniversary (maybe), then at the year anniversary (maybe). The network news doesn't even figure into it unless it is a major city.
But because there is a chance - a minute chance - that this could be, in some way or another, some kind of 'terrorist' attack, it is everywhere, constantly.
I say 'let the cleanup start and the experts do their jobs, and when they can tell us something CONCLUSIVE, then let the news start shoving that down our throats, not the re-telling of the same story in different versions by different people at different places and the mind-blowing chaos of an aftermath of any kind of explosion.' Firemen, policemen, and civilians running around, each in the intensity of their own jobs or confusion, tells me absolutely nothing of the HOWs and WHYs, which is the information I need to continue looking after the safety of my own family.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Starting new blogs
Well, I actually wrote a blog today, but I have no idea where it went. I published it, but don't know where I published it TO. I want to post them on my Facebook, but can't figure that one out. It says 'share with Google+' and that's my only choice.
If anyone can help me, that would be super great.
If anyone can help me, that would be super great.
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